I am going through another one of my many trials. No, I do not believe
I should be spared them; each time I come out of one of these trials I
am a stronger woman. We are taught in God's Word that we will face them;
but we also learn that He will never leave us or forsake us and will see
us through to the end.
I tried to play the 'Peacemaker' between two relatives. Gently, and in
love, I tried to mend their fences for them, with the intent of helping
each one of them to see the other side of the story. It worked for awhile.
But then it all exploded in anything but glory! Needless to say, I am no
longer playing the afore mentioned role! My well intentioned efforts were
for naught, and I am keeping myself out of it until God tells me to do
something, and only then!
So while I wrestle with this problem, I am also keeping an open mind,
and trying to learn the lessons I know God has for me because of this.
While there are days that I keep excessively busy so that I don't have
to think about it, there are those times, after I lay my head down at
night, that suddenly, and without any warning, I realize my eyes are
generously watering my orthopedic pillow. When I let my guard down,
and allow myself to think about my heartache, then I become shaky and
weak. But if I plunge ahead with any number of 'busy' projects, then
I find I can keep my emotions in check and life goes on as usual
But God is most definitely showing me some things. He has shown me
that I am not the 'Peacekeeper' I thought I was. 'Blessed are the
peacekeepers, for they shall be called children of God.' (Matthew 5:9)
While Jesus encourages us to keep the peace, so to speak, He doesn't
ask us to do it in OUR strength. We have to do it in HIS! So my
realization is that I was trying to do whatever I could do myself,
and while I prayed for wisdom, I was still jumping to conclusions
and trying to solve it on my own. I did not exhibit patience. And while
I thought I was showing grace, or teaching it to others, I was merely
imposing my ideas of it on them. I was not allowing God to work through
me; I was trying to do His work for Him.
Yes, God does call us to do many things. We are to listen and obey.
We are to be ready to do His will at a moment's notice, fearful or
not. But never should we attempt to do it our way. We should prayerfully
consider and ask for direction and wisdom as He sees fit, and then let
Him lead us through the process. Only then will the results of our
intervention be what God had planned all along. Only then will He be
glorified from the process. Only then will lives be changed.
God does not need my help to do anything. He doesn't need yours either.
He can do it all by Himself. But He is a generous God, and One who wants
us to be involved in His work. Not controlling it; not labeling it;
certainly not making it ours. Our willingness to join Him in His work
is what becomes the blessing. No matter the heartbreak, the brokeness,
the misery of our situation....He will bless the effort, and, as the
restorer of relationships, He will do just that.
It is in His hands, then, that I put my current trial. I can't wait to
see what He will do with it, what wonders He will accomplish, as I stand
back and let Him do His work!