I've had Morgan since he was about six weeks old.
We lived in Toledo, Ohio. Our neighbors were gathered
on and around our porch one Sunday night in June, in
1995, just visiting, enjoying the evening, and of course
laughing at bad jokes.
I went inside to answer the telephone. It was my mother
calling to let me know she and my stepdad had arrived
home in Southern Ohio, after having left our house after
a weekend visit earlier in the day.
While I was talking, in walked my hubby with this little
black puppy. So tiny, and simply presh! He put him in
my arms and then went outside. I continued my conversation
with my mom for about 20 more minutes. I did not mention
the little bundle of fur in my arms. Just as I was hanging up,
Chuckles walked back in and just stood there. I told him,
'Don't you DARE try to take him away from me...we have
already bonded!" At which point he just laughed, and said
that no, he was mine.
I later that night decided to name him Morgan. It just sounded
right. I got the name from a Biography episode I was watching
about the actress, Morgan Fairchild. Morgan...it WAS right.
So Morgan has been with us for 15 years. We moved from Toledo
in 1998, bringing Morgan and Bo and Sadie with us. We lost Bo
shortly after our move here, due to severe hip displasia. Sadie
died of some kind of ailment about 3 yrs ago. The vet did not
know what was wrong; she simply became ill and died. So Morgan
was the last of the 'Traveling Three'!
Three days ago, Morgan lost the use of his hind legs. He has been at
the vets ever since. I immediately prayed and asked for prayer for
him. And he did get better, even to the point the vet thought his
prognosis was good. But then something happened and he started
getting worse. The ground he had gained reversed. He started losing
other physical functions.
Last night on the way home from work I stopped and spent about a half
hour with my boy. We sat together on the exam room floor, and I talked to
him, hugged, petted, and kissed on him, and even sang the silly little songs
I have been singing to him since he was a pup. We had a good time. But he
kept trying to get up. He wanted to go home with me. Heart wrenching.
Today he was worse. As the vet was talking to me on the phone, and telling
me of the further deterioration, I finally heard what I had been needing to
hear....God told me, 'It's time'. I knew I needed to give in and allow the
vet to do what was right for Morgan. But I needed to be sure, to know there
was nothing more to be done, to know that God approved, and would tell
me when it was time. And He did.
Last night as I lay in bed, I prayed. I told God exactly how I was feeling,
how I was not ready to give up on my Morgan, that I was not ready to
let him go. I asked Him to give me peace, to give me wisdom, to make sure
I knew when it was right and good to take that last step, all options exhausted,
all avenues pursued. Then, I could move forward and do what was best for
Morgan. I told God I trusted Him implicitly, and that I just wanted to do what
He wanted done. So today, when I heard His voice, my heart relented, and
I knew....it was time. The knowledge went from my head to my heart...and
brought with it the peace I needed.
My sweet daughter-in-law went with me, since Chuck could not. We got to
be in with Morgan and loved on him and talked to him, and hugged him.
Then the doctor gave him the sedation shot, and I held him in my arms until
he was sound asleep. He went to sleep knowing he was loved, being held,
sung to and talked to in our own special language. I left the room, and the
vet gave the last, final shot to stop his heart. He never knew. He simply slept.
So Morgan went home to doggie heaven peacefully. As I said in a previous
email, I am sure that is in the same vicinity as Jesus! After all, 'the lion lay
down with the lamb'. There are animals in heaven. They are just different
from us in that they do not NEED to be saved. We, as human beings, certainly
do. And that is why this is so important: "Be still, and know that I am God."
I did, and I do. Lord, Please enjoy my precious Morgan.