Sunday, February 26, 2012

It's Been A Long Time

It has. I have not posted since November, when I wrote 'Turkey Day Again!'. I don't know why. I don't know how. I don't know what has been wrong with me.

But the true matter of the situation is that I have been having difficulty forcing myself to sit down at my computer and simply write. I have lots of ides, topics, scriptures, tons of material to write about. But something has been quelling my creativity, my WANT TO. I have prayed about it, I have outright asked God 'Why?', I have talked to people, I have changed the look of my writing area, etc., etc., etc. And I have realized it's not that I don't want to, I just can't.

If you've ever experienced not being able to enjoy doing what you love to do, then you can understand my frustration. There are several things I can think of off the top of my head that if I could no longer do them, I would eventually dry up and fade away. Well, maybe not quite that drastic of a reaction! But still, if I could not drive and travel anymore, my independence would be threatened. I would not see the places I want to see, and travel with my family and friends, or even get myself back and forth to church and to work, if I could no longer drive.

I have developed a lower back problem in the past year, and was concerned the medical professionals would tell me to stop horseback riding. This has been a joy to me all of my life. Fortunately, with a period of physical therapy, excellent advice, and exercises to sustain my 'base', I am able to continue riding.

I love to read. If my eyes became terribly bad, or if I went blind, I would no longer know the joy of losing myself in adventure, romance, and mostly, the Word of God.

I say these things because I know that if you can relate to my feelings, you will understand as well. I love to write. My goal is to be a successful, published writer, of God and His Word, for the rest of my life on earth. I have had a small measure of success, but it is like anything else, you must put forth the effort, time, and dedication in order to achieve the success you wish. God called me to this, and I have answered. But for whatever reason, and only He knows, I am having trouble.

As I write this, now, my fingers are literally flying over the keys. I am not having any block, any halting, any wondering what to say. Once again, God proves Himself most able, because He is guiding this post. He is telling me how to tell you what has happened to me. He is also telling me to make sure I give Him glory for how He is restoring me, having taught me the most valuable lesson of waiting on Him, for His timing, and for His purposes, and for the season in which I am to do His will.

Does this mean I will begin writing all the time as I was just a few short months ago? Of course not. But it does mean that God has once again provided the tools and the abilities only He can give, and I have a green light to proceed. I must make sure I am prayed up, filled up on His Word, and ready to do as He sees fit with this gift He has blessed me with. I must constantly examine my spirit-woman, my life, my walk with the Lord, to be sure I am in the center of His will, not my own. I must remember my first love, the love I have for my Saviour.

If you are going through something like this, take heart. Remember to tell Him how you are feeling, examine your life, pray, read and ask for help from God. Only He can release you from your 'long time', and only He can set you free to once again do that thing that you love, the thing He has called you to do for His Kingdom.

And I do, I do, I do, give Him the glory, every bit of it, for what He has done, and what He is going to do, in my life.


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